Forgive me!

I said I would update this regularly and I haven't. I don't have a lot of time to use the internet so I usually wake up, check my facebook and email my mom all within 30 minutes. But since I'm sick and have been banned to the couch by my wonderful host mom Julia, I thought this would be a good time to start.

These past 2 weeks I've been riding an emotional roller coaster. The first few days were awful. Teaching was a nightmare, riding the bus for 20 minutes to and from my apartment was terrifying and I felt so alone. Ask my mom, I was ready to get on a plane and leave this unfamiliar place day 3. I was convinced it wasn't going to get better and that I was doomed to live in hell for 3 months. Dramatic, I know. My mom kept telling me that you can do anything terrible for a short period of time and that I needed to push through my feelings of horror towards the situation I was in. I didn't want to hear it. I had my mind made up.

Within a few hours after emailing my mom, I got to the school knowing it was going to be another miserable day of dealing with kids that couldn't understand a word I said and knowing that I wasn't getting through to them. But when I saw the other girls feeling the same way I did and seeing that negative attitude consume them and virtually suck the life out of them, I realized that I had to change the way I was thinking. I couldn't let this beat me. I had to prove to myself that I am strong. I didn't want to be known as the girl who gives up. I told myself to suck it up, and go teach freakin english to these kids. By the end of the day I was exhausted, sweaty and on edge, but I walked home with my head held high. I changed my attitude and felt like I had a new lease on life. I did a 180 from that morning and since then I haven't looked back. I can't let myself feel like that again. I have to stay here and deal with whatever happens the best I can. I've always hated people who constantly were wallowing in self-pity and I was totally what I hated. It was pathetic. I feel so much better now. My moms emails really helped me come to that realization and I love her to death because of the constant support shes given me. It's also been comforting knowing that there are people at home rooting for me to succeed.

Anyways, on to happier thoughts! I am happy now and I am looking forward to experiencing new things in this beautiful city. I've already seen so much that has helped me realize this is a once in a lifetime opportunity. I can't throw it away because some kids were yelling Russian at me. Looking back at the emails I sent my mom, I feel silly.

So far I've been to 2 cathedrals, walked cobblestone streets, and taken 1000 pictures of anything and everything. The buildings are so magnificent. I kept telling Julia that all we have at home is metal and glass. I've eaten several different unidentifiable meats and more potatoes than I've had in my life.  I've been huged by a giant Spongebob in center square and I shuffled with street dancers outside an underground mall. Tomorrow we are going to a football (soccer) game and while we were in center town a few of us bought tickets to the nutcracker at the opera house! I am beyond excited. Having things to look forward to is keeping me going.

There is no need to worry about me. I am fine. I was sick the past 5 days but I'm feeling better. Julia has been pouring lemon medicine down my throat like I needed it to breath and like I said earlier I haven't been allowed to move from the couch, except to pee and go to my bed of course. She's even been putting my food within arms reach. And max has been like a paper weight further preventing me from moving. I'm being treated so well here I might not want to come home. Just kidding! haha.

I will go back to teaching tomorrow and then to a football game tomorrow night with my fellow teachers and good friends.

Well, Rouslan wants to use the internet so I must go. He can't speak any english except for super!, hello and ford mustang (he LOVES cars). His ring tone is the sound of an engine revving ... Dad if your reading this, you and him would get along great, except for the whole language barrier thing. He is giant. He kind of reminds me of a really friendly, slightly less smelly and really tanned shrek. I say slightly less smelly because the men here shower at most twice a week. Right now he is laying on the couch and its funny because the couch is half his size. It looks uncomfortable. He told me to tell my family back home that he says hello. Just imagine this brown  Russian shrek waving frantically at you with a huge smile from ear to ear. I'm sure that before my time here is up I will be greated with a big bear hug from Rouslan.

Thats all for now. Das Ve Danya